smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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