You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
