when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
