Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize