stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If I die, sorry about rent.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize