you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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