Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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