glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
