i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He passed out mid-signature
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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