I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
