never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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