So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize