You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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