what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
