I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
