whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
