People in love make me want to vomit
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
