Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize