I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
