All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
