The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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