the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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