I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
