I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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