Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
