Plan B is the new Plan A
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
