Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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