trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
