You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
