is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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