I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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