there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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