he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
