Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
