You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
