I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
