I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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