it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
