We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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