We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
