dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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