Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
