so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
