if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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