As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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