get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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