and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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