You're so nebulous sometimes
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
