No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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