my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
