I'm gonna have a badass scar
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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