I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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