Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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