so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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