Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am mentally ready for anal.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
