I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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