YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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