Whod you bang
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
