You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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