Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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