I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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